Finding the path with no place to get to

When there's no place to get to, we can find the way of meandering, moving, and being that works for us.

Every week I find myself planting a forest, a forest of words piled into sentences and paragraphs trying to figure out what I want to say. I let them grow until I am deep in a thicket or at the sparse edge where a tall grass meadow thrives. Then I start pruning, piling, hacking at the branches, shrubs, and brambles so I can find a way through. Eventually I make myself a path, but I rarely know where it is going.

Keep walking, though there’s no place to get to.
Don’t try to see through the distances.
That’s not for human beings.
Move within, but don’t move the way fear makes you move.
Today, like every other day, we wake up empty and frightened.
Don’t open the door to the study and begin reading.
Take down a musical instrument.
Let the beauty we love be what we do.
There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.

- Rumi¹

There’s no place to get to. But we keep walking. We’ve learned to move forward because that is the way that life seems to propel us. As children we are constantly growing and learning, shedding old versions of ourselves and carrying our essence as we go. We keep growing older, experiencing all that we can as we move gradually towards the end. Most of the time we aren’t sure where to go so we look for the popular markers and milestones that seem to offer certainty that we are doing it right and going where we are supposed to, until we realize that the path of traditional expectations isn’t for everyone and might not work for us.

There’s no place to get to. All we have is the present moment, the never ending slide from one minute of the day to the next, hours becoming days becoming years. While our bodies are in the present, our minds are, perhaps, all over the place. My mind dashes away from where I am here and now to planning for moments in the future, analyzing and reliving moments from the past, and always singing the song that is stuck in my head. Ruminating feels comfortable until the rare times when I can quit the singing and zinging and, for just a moment, feel the freedom of being really present.

There is no place to get to so we don’t have to believe that our achievements give us value and make our time worthwhile. There are deadlines, obligations, needs, wants, expectations, demands that call to us urgently. Tasks and goals that feel inescapable now may be stops along the way, but finishing them is not an arrival or a conclusion. We don’t have to keep pushing to do more, achieve more, be healthier, be more active, make more friends, more, more and more. If I feel like I am always pushing, I have to wonder whether forcing and striving are necessary, especially if they lead to feelings of disappointment or inadequacy when I fall short of what I expected or hoped.

There’s no place to get to, so what if we can get more comfortable just being? When we wake up empty and frightened we might feel like we need to try harder. But there are many times when it isn’t possible to do more than what is absolutely necessary. Trusting that I will do more when I can gives me a chance to clearly notice when my energy and capacity return. Instead of pushing, forcing, or cajoling, I can move closer to believing in my ability to do what I need and want when I am ready.

There’s no place to get to, but we can move towards the beauty we love. I’ve been reading The Creative Doer by Anna Lovind and she frequently mentions that she limits herself to the activities and tasks that she values to make sure she has the time she needs to write and create. Instead of deciding what I must do less of, I choose to feel my way into how I want to spend the time that I have. I notice that when I feel more excited about projects and tasks I move away from unnecessary distractions like scrolling and, instead, flow with my creative work.

There is no place to get to and when we move towards the beauty we love we can ride waves of interest and excitement. Unschoolers and self directed learners often talk about how motivation and enthusiasm makes it easy to dive into topics that they are really interested in and to explore related areas and skills. There’s no need to push when my kids are working on something they have chosen. I see how this ebbs and flows and they take breaks to try a variety of activities that are fun and relaxing. Stepping away from an activity and returning to it later can give our brains a chance to process and practice skills.

There’s no place to get to, and maybe that is why it is so easy to feel lost. I always wish I had a map and a guidebook to navigate difficult situations and the unknowns of life. Would it be simpler if I could follow the way that others have gone before? Not having a map, not knowing where I am going can make it hard to get through and I can meander, zig zag, detour and find what works for me. Life is the process of continually finding my way through the forests, fields, and brambles, over and over, even if there’s no place to get to.

Warmly,

Anna

1. I am amazed that these words written in the 1200s can resonate so much now. It was interesting to read this article about translations of Rumi to learn why they may feel so accessible and relatable to English speakers unfamiliar with Islam.