Magic, beauty, sweetness

Remembering the things that really matter when we care deeply about the world around us.

Looking out the back door toward the dark green blackberry leaves below the oak trees, barely visible in the deepening dusk. A split second of brightness. Bioluminescence. A flicker, on off, on off, following the movements of a flying insect that makes light with its body. Tiny firefly lights in early July, all the fireworks I ever need.

We have the joyous responsibility of living in this world that contains endless opportunities for delight if we can be open to it. We have the heavy burden of living in this world ruled by people who value wealth and power far more than they care about all of the living things here.

I forgot I had hastily scattered poppy seeds at the edge of a flower bed until they sprouted in a crowd of delicate green. The bunch of leaves eventually grew tall with heavy heads, buds completely sealed, until I returned home from a few days away and they had opened into ethereal red, pink, and white blossoms. Each day a few more unfurl and I hope I can collect the seeds to spread them around the garden.

I cannot look away from the news and I can’t ignore the agenda of hatred and greed, the twisted motivation to grab and destroy the lives of people who just want their own version of fireflies and poppies.

I munch snap peas as soon as I pull them off the vine and forage among the leaves for the plumpest shelling peas, quickly unzipping the treats from the pod. I break off the curls of garlic scapes looping them around my wrists, hoping the strong smell will keep mosquitoes away while I grab a few more.

I wake up and coax myself out of bed to go weed among the strawberries. I crawl between the plants, grasping violet leaves and quack grass and yanking out milkweed. I eat the reddest berries I see. Despite several mornings of weeding, this part of the garden still looks chaotic, like a bad haircut that can’t be combed away.

It is disheartening to see the actions the government is taking to further their belief that some of us are more worthy and deserve more while others are undesirable or have no value. This idea of categorizing a person by where they have come from, what they look like, or what role they play in society shows the narrow, white supremacist mindset of the people who claim to want to make America great.

Beyond the destruction of lives and the leaching of vibrant communities, it can leave so many of us feeling like we’re not doing enough. When people only see the world as a means to more money and power, they don’t care about watching fireflies or pausing to pick strawberries or protecting the lives of people they have decided are less valuable.

What happens if we keep believing, loving, and caring, refusing to consider that we are not enough? It feels like tiny and idiotically hopeful water bottle sticker, but caring about the life around us is what matters most.

What if we try not to forget that what we are doing is valuable? Instead of freezing in fear and doubt, feeling like we are falling short and worrying that we have to do more, can we trust in the the small, every day things we do?

I don’t know how to write about people being stolen from their homes, their workplaces, or when they are walking down the street. I don’t know how to write about the destruction that our government is choosing right now. I know that paragraphs about magical insects, beautiful flowers, or the sweet tastes in my garden can’t make up for these losses. I know that so many of us are aching, wondering what we can do, and caring deeply about the world around us.

The horrific tragedies are with us every day and I don’t want to become numb to them. But I will also keep turning to the things that I find in my small part of the world because we all need magic, beauty, and sweetness.

I will always believe that caring matters. I will never forget the wonder of this world where, on a summer’s night, I can watch insects that make light! with their bodies! Bioluminescence.

Warmly,

Anna